Lifestyle - Post Delivery Sex

Confused as to which between-the-sheets activities are safe after you've spent the last nine months coping with pregnancy stress. Now that your lil’ one is safe and sound, it's time to respond to your intimate physical needs. A study found that for 20% of first time mothers it took six months to feel physically comfortable during sex. The median time was around three months. Yet, another study revealed that 57% of women were still having less frequent sex 12 months after childbirth. Sujata Singh, who has delivered a baby three weeks back says, "recovering from childbirth, hardly sleeping, and answering the demands of breastfeeding often leads to couples neglecting their sexual needs. With the new member needing huge adjustments, it's often difficult for couples to make time for sex in an already packed schedule". For most women, dealing with their decreased libido is only a temporary change that requires time to resume to normal. Women generally tend to show lack of interest in sex because of fatigue due to childbirth. The time taken by a woman to get back her sexual desire depends largely on her birthing experience. Many women do not desire sex after childbirth because of the pain, or fear of pain. Women who deliver with the assistance of forceps tend to take longer to feel comfortable during sex. The same goes for women who experience internal vaginal tears. Dr. Rajan B Bhonsle, Hon. Prof & HOD Dept of Sexual Medicine KEM hospital says that, "the main reason for avoiding intercourse is to allow the woman's genital tissues to heal, especially if there was an episiotomy or tearing. Avoiding infection is another reason". One should not forget that postpartum sex is more painful if the delivery has been vaginal. Women with swelling after childbirth and/or any breakdown of the perineum (the external region between the vulva and the anus that is made up of skin and muscle) also tend to take longer to feel comfortable during sex. After delivery, physically, you or your partner may notice a change in the size and shape of a woman's vagina. One should always go for a postpartum re-check, so that your doctor gives you a green signal to indulge in intercourse. Dr. Bhonsle further adds that, "the vagina may be drier than normal, especially if the new mother is breast feeding. Ensure that everything has healed and that you take proper precautions for birth control. I can't tell you the number of women I've seen who come for their postpartum visits and are already pregnant because they didn't think it could happen" Partners should understand that, while a woman's interest for sexual intimacy has returned, other factors, such as lack of sleep, may also affect her emotional interest. So stop pondering on whether you will you ever make love again? Like, everything else in your new and often overwhelming life, it's just a matter of time and a question of patience (especially from your partner, who's almost certainly ready for this dry spell to end). So wait until you're feeling ready, or help yourself get ready with the following helpful pointers:

Don't rush into anything: Take your time. Having sex before you are ready (your mind or your body) is harmful. Shower together! Or bathe together. It will be a lot of fun. Spend more time in exploring each other's bodies as this will heighten the sexual expectancy and make your sexual union a longing affair. Plan your birth control. Don't be wandering every two months whether you are pregnant because you took a risky chance. Try to plan some time alone: Having a baby at times may leave you feeling "touched out," but a peck on your cheek by your partner or a special snuggle time with your guy can help revive that special bond. Be spontaneous! Bedtime nor bedroom may not always be the right time for a night of hot sex. Add some spice to your sex life, act like a teenager! Try out new positions which are comfortable for you and feel the excitement soar to new heights. Lubrication! Make sure that you and your partner get into the mood and that you're feeling moistened enough to handle it. If you think you need some more help, be sure to use an over the counter lubricant. Talk to your practitioner if any further help is needed. Remember it's quality that counts : the precious moments of togetherness spent by both of you that matters the most. It's not the physical intimacy that counts. Figure out what timing is right for your sexual union is key to enjoyment. Talk about your fears: Talk to your partner openly about all the worries you have in your mind. It is always okay to talk out things in open. Never hesitate to say no: Maybe you need the freedom to say no once in a while. Perhaps your body and mind are not ready for full fledged intercourse, but how about some good, old-fashioned kissing and necking?