Lifestyle - Make-out in Office

Sashwati Sanyal

The thing-going-in-office often lends to sexual excitement, while pushing up work motivation. We did a quick search and discovered the ten hottest make-out zones at the workplace to give your libido that much needed kick:

Boss' desk/cabin: "A classic idea. There' nothing like having a quickie on your boss' desk/table. Its like having a high like no other," says Sushil Kundra, a BPO executive, "That's truly one of "The" places where you must make out if you can. It's not so much about the place, as it's the vital info that this room is your boss' cabin that adds to the sexual high. More so if your boss is ultra strict, just getting into some action there is the ultimate revenge tool." Caution tip: The flip side about this is your Boss could walk in any time on you. Or any of your superiors could. So unless you are very sure about his/her absence, it would be wise if you look elsewhere for your enjoyment. Cause then it wouldn't be just about saving your face but also your career. Says Vandana Roy, HR executive, EXL, "Such things are very embarrassing and thus we are left with no option but to ask the employee to leave. However, we do provide every one with a set of guidelines stating very clearly the dos and don'ts. At times the employees are merely reprimanded and allowed to go but if the conduct remains the same, then we do take severe action."

The ATM : This cosy, air conditioned space tucked away at a corner of the office is a safe haven to give vent to your sexual urges. With not many people visiting it after a certain time, it lends a sense of privacy. Says ad professional Anil Bhargav, "Often due to work pressure and hectic schedules, people are left with hardly any time for themselves. So a quick session rarely hurts. As for me, I did try to cosy up to my colleague at the ATM. It's not just private but also gives you enough time to complete your sexapade, as you always have the excuse of the ATM getting stuck." Caution tip: Dahlings, there are so many CCTVs inside the ATMs these days. So just watch out or you may be caught in manners you won't enjoy once you check them out for yourself. Keep your eyes split wide open or else the money won't bail you out of the situation. "We ensure every ATM has a security guard and a night watch man. That's a prerogative because we don't want our employees to be caught unaware and lend a wrong impression of the organisation. Infact, organisations are coming up with designs where the ATMs are situated in the heart of the office, so it is crowded and populated," says Vandana.

Back staircase: Probably the best for those short/tall couples. The dingy, smoky alley suits your appetite just fine in the dead of the night. "The staircase is actually like a secret pathway which people hardly visit after office hours. It's also away from the prying eyes of the guards and other curious office-goers. I have had many of my colleagues narrating adventures they've had on the stairs. There was one who told me that the unevenness of the staircase actually worked as a turn on. And the best part is, no one gets to hear all the din you create," points out Ram Verma, a software professional. Caution tip: The staircase won't be fun anymore if you slip and manage to hurt your back. So watch out for safety while being engrossed in the exercise. Beware of secret onlookers who may take the opportunity to create a porn video out of your act and post it on the net or circulate among colleagues. Says Madhavan Das, a PR professional with Miditech Productions, "We provide employees with a lot of distractions like games, separate rest rooms and adequate facilities, especially for those who work during the night. It is the priority of the organisation to take care of its people because it’s natural for them to indulge in such acts. So an impromptu singing session, or a quiz contest is called for to give the mind a break and pep one up."

Conference room: The dark, empty conference hall sure is a huge enticement for a quickie. Says Ravi Mathur (name changed), an intern, "While preparing for my medicals we needed to sit up nights together. And so the conference hall was the best place to escape. Also, the huge spread out desk provided a lot of support and made things more pleasurable, so most of the interns would take turns to go there. " Caution tip: Like the boss's cabin, this too is ridden with flaws. You might accidentally get locked in and would be red faced when the guard helps you ease out the next day. Or unknowingly you might just end up providing succour to a lot of other eyes who would look forward to your routine night-outs.

"Places like the conference halls, and other rooms should always be locked up after a meeting or a get together. Keep a tab on all the employees working during the night and proper supervision for the same is required. However if employees are found indulging in such acts on the office premises, they wouldn't be excused," adds Das.

Gym: This is another favourite for a sexual workout. "Oh, it's a huge turn on to hit the sack in the gym. Especially after you have exercised and perspiring heavily. You can cosy up in the shower room after the session. The office gym is mostly empty in the afternoons and it's actually erotic when you see all these machines around and imagine all the things you could do with them," says Gautam Mehra, a journalist. Caution tip: The gym is definitely for work outs, so be cautious if you are using the equipment for pleasure. A minor slip up can cause injury! Says Roy, "Gyms must have proper membership and are not accessible to everyone. And a full time trainer must be provided to take care of who attend the gym, at all times. After the gym is used people need to sign out and the gym should be locked during the night. Those who want to use it need special permission of the night watchman."

The wash rooms: The perfect idea for those who are "kinky", washrooms provide the most privacy. "It's the best excuse to wander off to your nightly trysts. And no one gets to know," says Purvi Mehendre, a call centre executive. "The loos are hygienic as well and you come back looking like nothing ever happened. Yes, but there are those times too when spilt water or thrown tissues are actually a turn off," adds Mehendre. Caution tip: Bathrooms provide utmost privacy, but could be very dangerous. Imagine slipping on that spilt water in the midst of a wonderful high. That could mean an end to your physical pleasures for a lifetime. "Washrooms in all organisations must have condom vending machines. Not just that, but the keeper there should be watchful of the going-on. Often wash rooms are completely segregated which causes couples to slink off and have a good time. In such cases, it's up to the keeper to look out for any kind of negligence and unwanted activities during office hours," suggests Das.

Rooftop: Seriously, does anyone ever go out on the roof in your office? The only risk you have is being watched from the building next door that's obviously a couple of floors higher. "Roofs are simply wonderful because of their open air ambience. I once had a hot session in one of the gardens on the roof, and it was a lot of fun. It actually relaxes you and gives you an exotic feel too," says Koyal on condition of anonymity. Caution tip: Roof tops are rather risky if they have a parapet and you happen to be anywhere close to it during mid-act. The icing on the cake would be when your rival organisation across the road checked you out and decided to inform your superiors. Or what if an insect decided to bite you? So stay covered even in the open. "Roofs should never be open to people for routine chats, smoke or anything else. There should be a guard on duty 24x7. It would be very dangerous if some mishap happens and the company would have to take responsibility," states Das.

Parking lot: Now sexy cars we know are rather delectable. So then a jaunt there with your back against the bonnet does make you feel fuzzy a round the collars. "The basement parking lot of the office is where one gets to make out the most. Also, you could have a romp inside the car and be straight faced if the guard comes and knocks at your windows. However, parkings have their own risk if you accidentally set off the burglar alarm," points out Ashima Gupta working in an MNC. Caution tip: Do you want to get hit by one of the cars easing out of the basement? Continuous honking could actually cause more stress than you thought. And women, please be very very careful of moving around in the parking lot during the night. You could get mugged or molested and that's a heavy price to pay for pleasure!

Hiten Deshpande, HR, Mphasis, reiterates, "These days because of the bomb scare, parkings are kept under heavy surveillance. So if you do get caught doing hunky dory, it would be at your own risk. The rules are sharp and they won't be bent for anyone." Library: The smell of old books does give you a sense of warmth. And if it's a dark, musty nook in the hallway, then all your senses get attuned to your bodily needs. Says Prakash Deodhar, Deputy Manager with an MNC, "Libraries in the workplace are generally quite well lit. So one has to be really crazy to indulge in sex there. My colleagues have tried and have failed miserably. The point is, workplaces these days, do not offer any kind of privacy. Everything is transparent and this is actually a hindrance for those who work in regular night shifts or have to stay in office most of the day. Offices do provide recreational facilities, but there are times when it's just plain human to indulge in your needs. Organisations need to come up with options to tackle this as more men and women work together under hectic schedules." Caution tip: Libraries are places for book lovers, literally. Now, if you can just manage overlooking prying eyes, then a quick stroll out of the office premises could be a good option to satiate your desires. So long you are not on the office grounds, you are not answerable to anyone. "Every day, organisations are trying to figure better working conditions where the mind as much as the body can relax and feel rejuvenated. But until we reach that utopia, we need to resort to strict measures," affirms Deshpande. Editing suite: Yes, you do get absolutely touchy-feely in this dark room. "It's one of the hottest places for a make out session. Couples indulge in quickies despite people being present in the room," reveals Bhawana Chawla, a TV journalist. Caution tip: Hang on, not everyone would see your point of view and will not take it kindly if you continue with your act. More so, do you want to be the butt of all jokes. So steer clear. Says Das, "The need for privacy is understandable, but definitely not while working. It hampers not just an individual's work, but is unethical for others too. Abroad too, there are strict rules to be followed while in the workplace. And no one can help you if you deliberately set out to put your foot in your mouth."