USHA JESUDASAN
The apparently insatiable urge to possess things is a form of violence too…
My 16-year-old friend’s eyes gleamed with joy. She had just bought a new pair of shoes. Her older sister wanted to try them on. “Don’t touch them, they are mine,” screamed the little sister. The mother stood by helplessly, consoling the older girl by saying, “Don’t be upset, you can have one too.” Between the two girls, they had almost 30 pairs of shoes and although they had the same shoe size, they never shared them. Such himsa behaviour — and we as adults encourage it.
We live in an age of gross accumulation. Shoes, handbags, cell phones, clothes, cars — it is not enough to have the latest model, we must have varieties of them — and all for ourselves alone. One of the subtle forms of violence today is the tyranny of accumulation. Modern culture, based on productivity, greater profits, and pounding advertisements, keeps giving us false needs. To live well, we must have more and more. And while we have more, we must make sure that those around us don’t have more than we do. Living this way makes life very complicated and makes us himsa people as we spend time and energy guarding the things we accumulate with such violence. Apart from the many things we insist on owning, the himsa way of life also makes us relate to people as possessions. Just as we cling to our clothes, perfumes and handbags, we also become possessive about our relationships. Once someone has offered us friendship, affection, love or care in some way, we want more and more of the same thing. So we cling to the person who gave it to us, forgetting that they too are human with deep similar needs. When they share their goodness with others, or are unable to give us more of what we need, we become himsa people — attacking, accusing, abusing and discarding them.
The ahimsa way of life embraces simple living — whether that is a non-accumulative life; a non-possessive relationship life; or a life which desires to live in justice and harmony with everything around us.
Defining simplicity
Today we struggle to define simplicity. To one person, it is living frugally, rarely buying new items, making things last as long as possible, re-using plastic bags and bottles etc. To another, it is living in a beautiful house with a few expensive, classy designs; and yet to another, it is wearing khadi and eating vegetarian food and travelling by public transport.
Each of us has to make our own commitment to living the ahimsa way (living simply) — whether it means asking ourselves do we really need another sari or pair of shoes, or giving away what we don’t use or need, or sharing what we have with others, or relating to someone with compassion and love.
Simple living is not just about living without material things. It is also about living compassionately, and with love and being sensitive to the millions around us who don’t have half the things we do.
When I was very young, my idea of a simple person was a lady always dressed in white, who wore no jewellery or flowers in her hair. But over the years, as I got to know her better, I realised that there was nothing simple about her at all. She was quarrelsome; had difficulty in sustaining relationships and was a gossip.
Many years later, I met 20-year-old Ambrose, at an orphanage in Kenya . He was “dad” to the 30 orphans there. As I followed him around, I noticed the many ways in which he took care of the children there. He would wipe the noses of the little ones. Kick a ball back to one who was standing in a corner; tell a joke and make everyone laugh. All of this was done with a huge smile, a big hug and such love in his face and body language. One day the children were singing on stage. One little girl had a beautiful, new hairband, but she had worn it the wrong way. Ambrose was sitting beside me when he noticed it. “Oh dear, she will be so upset when she see the photos,” he said. So he unobtrusively went back stage, mingled with the group singing and dancing with them and quietly adjusted the girl’s hair band so that she looked like everyone else. I remember thinking, “What a lovely simple man.”
Ambrose’s own possessions were very few. But just like other youngsters he liked branded clothes and shoes. “What would you like the next time I come from India?” I asked him.
“Calvin Klein underwear,” he said very seriously. Living simply I learnt, is an attitude. An attitude that embraces the good things of life, without making us dependent, addicted or possessive about them.
As we pursue the simple way of life, according to our own paths, we realise that experiencing the inward reality of simplicity , taught by all our scriptures, liberates us outwardly too. Speech becomes truthful and honest. The lust for status and position slowly disappears because we no longer need them. We cease from showy extravagance not on the grounds of being unable to afford it, but on the grounds of principle. Our possessions become more available to others.
Our world is not getting simpler, but more complex everyday, which is why we desperately need the discipline of simplicity today. A simple lifestyle where others’ needs are as important as ours’ demands that we think about those who have no food, education, health care, while we have plenty. This may be hard for many people, because thinking and living this way means giving up a selfish, greedy lifestyle which we have become used to. To change to the idea of simple living after a life time of selfish living is very hard to do, yet we must pursue it with all our hearts.
Changing ourselves
To truly live the ahimsa way, each one of us needs to make lifestyle changes. We need to think about where and in which area of our lives we would begin and make positive changes. We can ask our children to give away a pair of shoes or their clothes when they buy new ones. Or we could buy a sack of rice or dal for our maid or driver when we buy one for our family; or empty our minds of anger , frustration envy and greed when we are at bursting point with them.
Living simply also means living contentedly. When the commercial world tells us to want more and more, contentment is not about getting more and more, it is about being happy with what we have. Being content with what we have, gives us the power to say , “Enough.”
If you have followed the simple ahimsa way of life and wish to share your story, please write to the author at: www.ushajesudasan.com or ushajesudasan@gmail.com
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