Sep 13, 2008
Lifestyle - Nervous in Bed ?
You've been waiting for this night when you and lady love will create fire works in bed. But then... You want to make it a special night for her where she feels the ultimate sexual satisfaction. But just as the moment ripens, your mind is paranoid with disturbingly anxious thoughts. "Will I be able to satisfy her? What if she thinks I'm too small? What if she doesn't get an orgasm?" are the multiple anxious sentiments going through your mind space. And, before you know, your much awaited sexcapade goes completely awry, leaving you feeling frustrated, inadequate and helpless. Anxiety is a part of life; but when it comes to performance anxiety faced by men in bed; it takes a toll on both the partners. But what exactly is performance anxiety? Male sexual performance anxiety is described when a man has trouble getting an erection. Men with this problem usually worry about whether they will get a penile erection and when they are just about to have sex, they lose their erection. This problem also sometimes surfaces in the course of having sex, when they lose their genital erection. Every man wants to please his woman, but sometimes obsessing about the performance makes them overtly conscious, resulting in premature ejaculation at times. Handle with care: Sex is a very rewarding part of conjugal life. Your partner plays an important role in helping you deal with your performance anxiety. The situation might be worsened by a selfish, uncaring partner. Understanding the helplessness and loneliness of your man will help you bond well with him as this forms the first step in maintaining a strong relationship and getting your sexual life back on track. Anuj Khanna (name changed), an advertising professional coyly confesses "I was totally devastated when I faced this situation for the first time in my life. That was when I was 24-years-old and I didn't know how to handle it. Not only could I not function in regular life, I couldn't get onstage." "Sexual performance anxiety can be caused by a simple event even in very stable, emotionally healthy individuals. The main dilemma is much like being stuck in a slippery pit - the more frantic you are, the slipperier you make your problem. The calmer you are, the more likely you are to escape," says Dr. Manoj Khanna, a counseling psychologist. Performance anxiety, in most cases, is not a permanent dysfunction. One should not try and avoid sexual activity due to the fear of non-performance. Reassurance by female partner acts as a strong tool which helps the male member to regain confidence and enjoy a healthy sexual life. One just has to focus on the problem and find ways to eliminate it. A word of caution - remember, that anyone from a beginner to a seasoned player can get affected by this syndrome. So, don't worry and just put your best feet forward. Be sure of the fact that you have complete control over your body.