Dec 9, 2008

Lifestyle - Play the seductress

Ritu Verma

Seducing your man is only just about any one principle. More than your technique of seduction, it's your attitude that makes the final cut.


all you really need is to be able to arrest his attention and his body is all yours. You need not be a hot babe to seduce your guy, just try to keep your approach right.

To make your man desire you, remember that actions speak more than words, so let your body do the talking and your man will definitely skip a heartbeat seeing you in your new avatar.

Take the lead
Men love to be dominated in bed. So if not always, then once in a while take up the task of leading the action in bed and initiating the intimacy. If your guy loves to see your wild side then there is no better way than this technique.

Neha Tyagi, a house wife says, "I gave my man a surprise call in office and in a passionate voice I whispered that a sexy surprise awaited him at night at home. Then I left a note at the doorstep which declared, 'beware of the tigress' that I wanted him to find minutes before he stepped into the main doorway. I slipped into some revealing, lacy lingerie and lit up the bedroom using fragrant candles, rose petals and some instrumental music. Already expectant with the hints that I had dropped throughout the day, he entered the bedroom with a lot of expectations. My killing looks, a heady embrace and a wet kiss left him breathless and raring to go. I was pleasantly surprised to see my man enjoy me take the lead even in foreplay as I blind-folded him and seduced him."

Sexual chemistry is a vital element of any healthy relationship and it's not always fair to blame your male companion for not putting in enough efforts and being unadventurous. Sudhanshu Kapoor, a banker says, "Men usually take care of their partner's pleasure, but it should be the same for the fairer sex. If we talk about equality in all spheres of life, what's the problem if we expect our partners to be adventurous in bed?"

Expert Tip: Dr Sameer Parikh, psychiatrist opines, "Most of the men look forward to a women who is a perfect blend of a tigress and a kitten. You have to learn to manipulate the imagination of your man. Men are really fond of women who are self confident seductress, who know what they want and how to get it. The idea is not to reach an orgasm only but to attain a feeling of contentment. That can only be done by taking care of your partner's needs."

Massage message
After a stressful day in office, lovemaking maybe the last thing on your guys' mind. And if he does indulge in sex, it may be more of a physical routine for him that may leave you high and dry. If you expect an exciting foreplay session before sex, then your man also deserves to be pampered.

Radha Varma, a call centre executive states,essential oils on his tired and aching body parts revitalises him for a night of passion. Though you can opt for a good couple spa, but the sensuous touch of your lover can work wonders for your fatigued beau. Just keep a few things in mind. Create a soothing environment for a massage, don't be shy to explore his hidden pleasure zones and pressure points and remember to be gentle. Do ask your partner's preference. The massage will definitely soothe his senses and leave him asking for more."

Expert Tip: Dr Kamal Khurana, marriage and relationship counselor suggests, "An exotic massage is the most sensuous way to unwind. Giving a relaxing massage is a great way of connecting with your partner as it helps him relax and even talk to you about his pleasure points. There's nothing more erotic than your beloved's soothing touch in an intimate setting. If you are a novice, read about massage therapy online or take up a course in Ayurvedic or Shiatsu massage."

Creativity is key
Practicing the mundane lovemaking positions with a passive partner is the last thing a guy expects in bed. Be free in your mind, talk openly communicating your secret desires and what you fantasise about during love-making. Watching porn together often acts as a stimulant and remember sometimes it's fun being naughty together. So communicate your sexual needs to your lover and try to pick up his style as he will definitely appreciate it. Surprise your lover by trying out enticing lingerie, eating aphrodisiacal foods like champagne, chocolates and strawberries or even indulging in fetishes and role playing.

Sugandha Jain, a marketing executive says, "Breaking stereotypical sexual patterns that almost all the couples follow is definitely not an easy task. But I believe if you continue following the same style then you may end up losing interest in sex. Sex is much more than just an act of lust. My boyfriend is very demanding in bed and expects us to try new positions. Why would I have a problem with it if it pays off well, in and outside bed?"

Expert Tip: Dr SS Nijhawan, a counselor on sexual problems recommends, "Most men believe that suggesting something other than the tried and tested sexual positions and techniques may leave their partner shocked. That is why they keep their desires to themselves, but this can be dangerous for a relationship in the long run. A man may start seeking another woman or indulge in an extra marital fling to satisfy his secret desires. A woman can help her partner in coming to terms with his inhibitions by being open about listening to his ideas of making love, trying out new places, other than the bedroom and contributing positively to the communication process."

Dress to kill
Who says you need to dress like a porn star to seduce your man? Dressing sexily, doesn't mean mere skin show. Not necessarily, would your husband be turned on seeing you in a see through night dress, that you are positively uncomfortable wearing. Just remember to dress smart and stick to the phenomena of show some and leave the rest to his imagination.

Nandini Mehta, a media person shares, "There's a spark in my partner's eyes when he sees me wrapped in itsy bitsy, sexy lingerie. It has been three Take the lead (Getty Images)


years since I started seeing my boyfriend, but I still make an in the effort to seduce my guy the way I used to in the initial months. Sexy lingerie is the easiest way to lure your guy. Though it was little difficult for me as my boyfriend's favorite color is red, but still I guess it works for us whenever I dress provocatively in the colour of his dreams. He always tells me, it's a pleasure to undress you."

Expert Tip: Dr Anu Goel, a relationship counselor recommends, "Who doesn't like to be in a company of a good-looking and well groomed beau? So if you make it a point to look gorgeous when you go out with him, maintain the same in your bedroom too. Seducing your man will become much easier if you remember to dress enticingly in your den too."

Making the battlefield better
It's not only women who love surprises. Having sex in a great ambience is a cherished experience and will spark off your beloved's senses. So get going babe.

Usha Varma, who works with a MNC in Delhi says, "From a distance, things appeared smooth for both of us, but I knew there was a certain something missing. The chemistry that we had in our courtship days was fast disappearing. I knew it was the time to surprise him and catch him off guard. So one day I came back early from work, cleaned the mess in the house and lit perfumed candles all over our bedroom. I filled the bath tub with warm water and essential oils, added some flowers and scented gel in it to add to the sensory experience. After he came back, I gave him a relaxing foot massage after which we soaked in the tub together, feeling our skin brush against each other. It was a sensual experience in the comfort of our very own home spa. Then we had an exotic meal accompanied with red wine. Post dinner, we danced bare feet to our favourite slow music feeling our bodies literally melt into each other. It didn't took him long to pull me into his arms and take me to bed. It was a steamy encounter that followed."

Expert Tip: "Sometimes women fail to understand why their partner is not being able to perform well. Because of their inhibitions or negligence, they don't try to sort out things in a direct manner leading to the build up of sexual tension. Sexual activities are a natural extension of a relationship and you really have to work hard to keep things smooth between the two of you. Sometimes you have to go out of your way to please your mate," says Dr SS Nijhawan, a sexual problem counselor.

Scent of a woman
Seduce your guy through his most sensitive organ- his brain. A strong scent is one of the most potent mood stimulators which affects a man's sexual prowess. So make a concerted effort to discover the headiest fragrances that your guy loves on you. Many men claim that a good scent enhances the attractiveness of a woman.

The way you smell is an important factor to win the game of seduction. Tanya Malik, an airhostess says, "Make sure your smell succeeds in attracting your guy towards you. Your neckline, wrist, behind the ears, inside your ankles are just of the vital pulse points to spray with perfume. But don't overdo it, otherwise you might end up giving a headache to your man."

Expert Tip: Shweta Gupta, a spa owner tells, "A woman can enhance her natural pheromones by using aromatherapy oils. They are known for their aphrodisiacal properties. For example- Jasmine is one of the widely used scents in the industry as this floral scent is used to gain affection and influence one's choice. Ylang Ylang increases attraction between two people. Smell of Sandalwood enhances sensuality. Rose based smells are essentially linked with romance."

Discuss your fantasies
Accept it or not but everybody nurses fantasies. Dr Anu Goel says, "There is something that you miss out on by not revealing your erotic thoughts. Talking about your hidden fantasies helps in breaking the monotony of your sex life."

Ragini Das, a content editor adds, "From quite sometime I had been noticing that my guy was not enjoying our love-making sessions. When I confronted him, he revealed that he wanted to try new positions with me as our regular missionary position wasn't turning him on any longer. He wanted to see me in a black corset, shorts with a whip taking charge and spanking him in bed. Though I was hesitant initially, but I tried it out just to please him, and in the process enjoyed the change from the routine."

Without the art of seduction, sex is just a mechanical act. Skillful seduction can actually lead to a satisfying sexual experience. So master the art of seduction, rejuvenate the romance in your relationship and your man will be compelled to surrender to your charms.

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