Before you actually get to know someone you are attracted to or start dating them, the initiation of the relationship is usually because of a Up your flirt factor (Getty Images)
flirtatious glance or comment.
Flirting, if done with grace and finesse can score you many brownie points, sending out the right message to the opposite sex. What happens often though, is that people don’t realise that instead of coming across as sensual or sexy, they end up being cheesy and creepy.
Flirting needs to be practised and mastered and once you understand how to flirt comfortably, just sit back and enjoy all the attention you’re going to get. The following are a few tips to up your flirt factor.
Use your body
Learning how to use your body is essential for good flirting. Most of the impressions we make on other people first begin with our body language, so learn to move in a way that attracts people to you. If you are confident your body will show it and confidence is very hard to resist. Be grand in your body gestures but do not go overboard and throw yourself on someone. Maintain grace at all times.
No cheese please
The one thing that can really turn someone off and real quick is cheesy pick-up lines. If you are under the illusion that lines like “Is your father a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes”, or “You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day” are going to get you dates, you’re very wrong. You don’t have to use a one-liner to charm someone. Just be yourself and be smart about how you approach a man or woman.
Be a mirror
The best way to catch a man or woman’s attention is to mirror them. This does not mean you start repeating everything they say or do, because that’s just childish. When you mirror someone while you are flirting, it means doing small things like, sipping your drink just when he or she sips theirs or leaning forward together. These things catch their attention and you get a chance to make your move.
If you feel genuinely that the man or woman you are attracted to is gorgeous, stylish or talented, let them know, but with subtlety. Don’t start writing or reciting a sonnet to express your feelings. The point is to make him or her feel good about themselves without making yourself sound like you are flattering them. Remember that flirting should be done with subtlety.
The eyes speak louder than words sometimes, so use them to your advantage. If you see someone you are attracted to and want to send them a flirtatious hint, just stare at them for a polite second, look away and then look again and hold their gaze (hopefully he or she is also looking at you). If you want to send a more seductive message, run your eyes along their body all the way up to their eyes. And blink a lot!
No arms crossed
This is a big faux pas if you are trying to flirt. When you cross your arms you give out a message saying back off, whereas what you want to say is come on over. If you want to tell someone you’re interested , use open gestures.
Do not fidget
When you are trying to flirt with someone and are always touching things or stuttering unnecessarily, you will come across as nervous and lacking in confidence. If you have nothing better to do with your hands, have a drink so you can occupy at least one hand. If you are feeling nervous, wait for a while, prepare yourself, and then approach the man or woman. But don’t do it knowing that you might make a mess out of the situation.
Flirting is a two-way thing. If you’re talking so much that the other person doesn’t get to say anything, you’re not being a good flirt. The message you’re sending is that you are not interested in what the other person has to say. And remember, you want to preserve some mystique, which is difficult to do if you’re being a blabbermouth. Also, if you remember what someone has said to you before, you are giving the message that they are important to you.
So just follow the above and flirt your way into dating heaven.