Oct 25, 2008

Lifestyle - Seven ways to woo your man

Monika Rawal

Pole dancing
Salsa and ball room dancing are passé! Be a pole dancer and make sure you get every move right, from the jazzy costumes to the most sensuous dance steps. This alluring act will leave your lover begging for more. "I feel my wife looks sexiest when she is dancing. Though, it depends on the dance form she tries out. Pole dancing is a sure way to turn me on, provided the pole dancer has curvaceous body to flaunt. As far as my wife is concerned, she has tried pole dancing a couple of times and has successfully seduced me," says 29-year-old Karan Gabha, married for the past two years.

Word of caution: Don't go overboard with your dancing, as it may leave you tired and sleepy. "Beginners avoid trying any complex dance steps, as it may carry the risk of injuring yourself. Excess climbing on the pole without maintaining a proper balance or trying out a complicated posture can do more harm than good," warns Abha, a Delhi based choreographer.

Bikini clad welcome
It's official! The 'scantily clad effect' is sure to turn on your man! Put on a revealing pink bikini or sexy red lingerie and just as you hear him knock; open the door in a seductive posture to grab his attention. Your man will love the temptation and this naughty welcome is sure to get him geared for more. "I am aware of my husband's fantasies, especially his fetish for transparent bikinis. I thought surprising him with by being clad in such an attire that too when he was least expecting it will turn him on and, needless to say, it worked. On spotting me in this sexy avatar, he forgot all his exhaustion and immediately got into a naughty mood. I couldn't believe how this acted as such a wonderful foreplay act. Though, initially I was hesitant, but to get him into the mood, I made the bold move," confesses 27-year-old Sheeba Mehra (name changed on request) who got married recently.

Word of caution: Be sure that it's your hubby 'only' standing outside the door and not someone else. A peep through the magic eye or confirming his identity by asking before you open the door outright is advisable. After all, you don't want to be caught prancing in a bikini before your neighbourhood grocer!

Porn is 'okay' sometimes
It's commonly believed that 'men' love watching porn, acting like porn stars and wanting their respective partners to play in similar mode. Women, on the other hand might not enjoy the act as much, but it's no big deal coming out of the closet once in a while. Try flattering your hubby in the most seductive style which he's always desired for. Add that 'porn' flavour in every act of seduction. "My wife never liked the idea of watching a porn clip sitting with me, and if I insisted much, she would create a fuss. But after realising that it is one of the many ways through which we can spice up our love life, she herself agreed to it. Not only did she buy a porn video for us to watch together, she herself was keen to try out new acts and moves like never before," shares 35-year-old Vineet, an advertising professional.

Word of caution: Porn may induce a certain level of discomfort or hesitation, as you've never tried it earlier. "Do not take it for granted that watching visually stimulating experience together will act as quick fix to spice up your sex life. Unless you share a high level of comfort with your partner, such explicit acts can cause lot of misconceptions and induce negative connotations about sex," feels Dr. Vikas Mohan Sharma, consultant psychiatrist based in Bangalore.

Play out your fantasies
Think beyond sleazy conversation. Let your hidden fantasies and out-of-the-box sex stir-ups add an extra pinch ofWoo him tonight! (Getty Images)
romance into your sexual relationship. Try being innovative – plan a game, pen down your fantasies and let him pick a chit one-by-one, as you both leisurely perform them in bed. It's a great way to woo your man, even if he initially displays some 'not-tonight-honey' signs. "I was never open with my husband about my sexual desires, as I feared his reaction. But now, having tried to be a little more forward, I feel it's much better to be forthcoming in my expression," says 32-year-old Nitu, an engineer by profession.

Word of caution: Be realistic about your sex fantasies and do not share or expect anything, which you are not comfortable performing. "Expressing all your fantasies might not a good idea, as some may disclose a weaker side of yours. So make a conscious decision about which ones to share," suggests Dr. Aruna Broota, clinical psychiatrist.

Recreate the first night magic
Make efforts to enjoy every night as if it's your 'first night' and do not let the initial charm fade with time. Play with the décor of your bedroom and try positioning things in the same manner as they were on your first night. To accentuate the aura, a satin bed-sheet, several heart-shaped pillows and finally some rose petals can do the magic. "I made sure that everything reminded by hubby of our first night. The moment he came home, I blindfolded him and took him to our bedroom, which I had decorated with flowers and scented candles. I started off with a romantic conversation, talking about things which we hesitated doing then and which we now enjoyed. Such an open conversation eventually set the mood right for us to have a rocking time ahead," recalls Sarika, 31, a housewife.

Word of caution: Recollect all major incidents beforehand that happened on your first night, especially those which your hubby didn't like much. By no means, repeat any of those acts.

Spa effect at home
"I remember how my husband used to feel fatigued and sorry for not making love to me. On being guided by a friend, I tried giving him a spa experience at home and it was more than just rejuvenation. It was a complete add-on to our sex life, as it gave us a reason to come close to each other," asserts Mahima, 37, married for four years.
It's very likely that your man is too exhausted to have sex after he comes back from work. Think of a way you can help him relax his tired muscles. A spa setting in the midst of your living area can be a good idea. With scented oils and flower petals making for a romantic setting, let the warmth of your hands reach his body and let the heat build on.

Word of caution: Be cautious of fragrances (of aromatic oils) that your spouse likes and the ones he's allergic to. "Be extra careful about the techniques that you use during the spa massage because pressing the wrong pressure points may lead to backache and back problems, thus marring the whole mood," shares a spa expert.

Wild tigress act
Why let your man be the master and initiate sex every time? Turn the tables to spice up your love life. Get into a wild tigress mode and take charge in your own hands. Even if it means being assertive to get him to into the act, do not hesitate. After all, men love to see their partners initiating a sexual session and if it's wild, they couldn't be asking for more! "I never liked the idea that my wife always expected me to initiate sex, as if it was only me looking forward to it. But one night, when she started the foreplay, I was amazed. She seemed eager to enjoy some deeply pleasurable moments and it was indeed a gratifying feeling," shares 30-year-old Prakash (name changed on request).

Word of caution: Understand that becoming wild doesn't mean behaving dim-witted. Make sure you carry a skilled attitude in your wild acts, so that the man doesn't lose his interest. "Women should not be cautious all the time thinking about male reactions. There is no harm if his wife initiates the love making process," adds Dr. Aruna.


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