Only fresh air you've had this month is opening door for pizza guy
You refer to orange juice as Fedex orange juice
When wife finishes making dinner, you dump jug of Gatorade on her
You schedule an appointment to talk to your doctor about Andy Reid's cholesterol
Got a telestrator in the bedroom
Three words: Norv Turner tattoo
Fantasize about Gisele Bundchen falling in love with you and introducing you to Tom Brady
When you go to McDonald's you insist on ordering the McNabb
Laura has to keep reminding you you're still President for two more weeks
To be more like your favorite New York Giant, you shoot yourself in the leg
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