Jan 9, 2009

Lifestyle - Sex resolutions' 09

Though 'quitting smoking', 'losing weight', and 'exercising' make for the most common resolutions for the populace, there's another vow that can Sex resolutions' 09 (Getty Images)
give you an equally healthy life this New Year - Improving your sex life.

After all, it has been scientifically proved that good sex everyday, keeps the doctor away! What's more? It can help you burn that bothersome flab too! So, what are you waiting for? Take charge of your sex life this January, with these fun-filled and exciting 'sexolutions' and make your way to a satisfying and pleasurable bedroom life all through the year!

Resolution # 1: Vow to devote 'more time' to the act.
No denying that 'quickies' are great fun, but when the target is a year full of gratifying sex, nothing works better that investing quality time in the act. "Being one of the fundamental aspects of a man-woman relationship, sex deserves patience and time. But time-pressed lifestyles and busy schedules often leaves couples exhausted by the end of the day leading to a lull in their bedroom.

So, from planning private vacations and early-morning sex sessions to extending foreplay in the bed, anything and everything that keeps the two of you connected for a longer time helps pep up your sexual experience in the New Year," suggests Sandhya Mulchandani, author of Indian Erotica.

Resolution # 2: Promise to 'experiment'
If you think experimentation is only the younger lot's cup of tea, remember that it's the older couples who benefit the most out from all the trials and tests. "Every couple has its own set of pleasure activities that they have been practicing since day one. But it's always good to explore and experiment to know what else charges up your pleasure buttons and hits them better," suggests Sandhya.

Try and know what turns your man on or what arouses your wife. Touch and feel each other's bodies and don't shy away from trying new techniques and positions this year. Think what you want your partner to do between the sheets and communicate your secret desires and innate fantasies the next time you are indulging in some steamy action. You never know you might just discover an all new moan zoan in your partner's body!

Resolution # 3: Pledge to revisit your sensual side
When was the last time you went out shopping for enticing night wear and sassy lingerie the way you did in the initial days of your courtship? When was the last time you turned your bedroom into a love-den to woo your partner? We are sure it's been long, with due courtesy to our busy and overtly practical schedules. Why not revisit your sensual self once again in 2009?

"Feeling beautiful and getting in touch with your sensuality forms an important part of lovemaking, especially for women. If you are feeling sexy and beautiful, chances of being interested and active in sex are a lot higher than otherwise," explains Alka Pandey, author of Kama Sutra for Women.

So, check out the lingerie stores and dig out some sensuous pieces. Also, try and pick some other passion props like perfumed body oils, scented candles, satin sheets, silk scarves etc. and put them to the best of use.

Resolution # 4: Vow to become a 'touchy-feely' couple
Okay, you've just had a busy month when physical contact was nothing more than brushing against your partner while arranging the cupboard or making your way out of the kitchen door. "Day-to-day touching acts as a primary precursor to sex for many of us, especially women. Absence of caressing, cuddling and hugging can become a total passion-killer," explains psychologist, Dr. Aruna Broota.

Even research has proven that partners who keep in touch with each other outside the bed are more active sexual performers. Sexual touching leads to a biological and psychological arousal, which heightens the testosterone levels giving a kick to one's sex drive. Even the mere practice of hugging boosts a woman's level of oxytocin, a hormone that drives you closer to your mate.

So, in the New Year, take a pledge that you'll never let even a single moment of touch go waste. Be it holding hands while walking, hugging each other when you get home or for that matter kissing each other at least once a day - you will try and enjoy each other's physical presence.

Resolution # 5: Speak up if you are not liking something
Enough of faking it! Speak up if you are not enjoying sex with your beau this year! A lot of partners prefer to keep quite or worse still they pretend to enjoying sex even if they remain unfulfilled. Your partner might think what he/she's doing is an incredible turn-on for you, but the truth might be that you are simply waiting for the act to end.

"Voicing out your feelings should not be embarrassing for you, nor knowing that you are not enjoying the act be insulting for your partner. At least it's better than being left dissatisfied. So if it's not working out for you in the New Year, don't hesitate to give your partner a realistic clue.

Instead of directly saying that 'I'm not enjoying sex with you', or 'You fail to arouse my senses', articulate your words like – 'I love when you do it like that'. By just a little alteration of words, you can easily tell your partner what you want without making him feel rejected," suggests Sandhya.

Resolution # 6: Also speak-up if it is working for you
There's no better reward for your partner than letting them know that you simply loved what he/she did for you. "In fact praising what you find great is as important as telling what isn't working," recommends Alka.

So the next time he pleasures you in a unique way or she tickles the never-explored moan zone on your body, don't shy away from saying, 'what you did just swept me off my senses' or a simple 'you were simply great, when are we doing that'! Not only will this boost your partner's confidence, but will also encourage him/her to devise new techniques to woo you.

Resolution # 7: You'll try to keep kids out of your bedroom
"The ideal time for your children to have a separate room for them is when they turn 6. But if there's time for that, there's no harm in making them sleep with your mother-in-law or in the other room at least once a week, to enjoy some private moments with your beau," suggests Aroona.

After all, the simple formula makes it all clear : Parents + Child + One Bed = Zero Sex, so if you want your sex equation to be rocking, make an effort to keep the child out of your room on some days until he/she is grown up enough to sleep alone.

Resolution # 8: At times even 'no-mood' sex will be welcomed
Sex is the last thing on your mind tonight, even as your partner is no less than a wild beast or a virtual sex Goddess eagerly waiting to make in a night to remember – quite acceptable. So, should you shun your partner and sleep in the living room? It is absolutely wrong says Sandhya, adding, "At times, it is okay to go ahead and have sex even when you are not in the best of moods. Sex is not all about getting physical, it is also about intimacy and coming closer and you never know he/ she may just push your right buttons and get you into the groove."

So, instead of waiting for that perfect moment, letting go of your inhibitions and surrendering to the other's needs can be a good resolution for the New Year.

Resolution # 9: Vow to lose control and break the routine!
"Not always workable, but it's fun to break free from all the set parameters once in a while. Make pleasure the highest priority in life at least in 2009. If getting kinky is too much for you, try playing up the passion by doing something adventurous than what you usually do," suggests Alka.

Breaking the monotony of your sex life is an important aim this year. If your bedroom has been your sex den, think about making out in the kitchen, or in the living room. Go out on coffee-dates and reminisce on the past. After all, a lot can happen over coffee! Even cars can be great to relive the good old college days. The aim should be to do things that you don't do usually or your lifestyle doesn't allow you to do at present. Chances are you'll get home to great sex!

Resolution # 10: Go liberal with contraceptive methods
Planning to expand your family? Spontaneous sex is what you should be targeting! Or else find out the best birth control methods. "No method is 100 percent sure shot," feels gynecologist, Alka Dhal, adding, "The choice of contraception depends on factors like the need of birth control, your medical eligibility and when do you want to plan your next pregnancy. Condoms are good, if used correctly and consistently, while the iPill is great if you need an emergency cure.

Consult your doctor and find out the most effective and carefree contraceptive for yourself. "Choose the method that suits you well and feel free to change the contraceptive if it is not working until you find the best option," adds Alka.

Remember, there's no remote control to a great sex life, only efforts work

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