Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon
End our dependence on foreign owls
Sell New Mexico to Mexico
Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!
Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs
Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch
Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase
Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt
Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China
Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!